Luke 9:23

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ..."

Lately God has challenged me to look into my life, and see what it really means to follow Him, to abandon myself (old self) completely. Earlier in chapter 9, Jesus sent out the 12, and commanded them not to take anything with them on their journey. (Jesus had provided for them everything they'd needed.) As I examine myself, the ways that I've chosen, I realized that there are still areas in life that I've not completely given over to Christ (hence, not giving Him Lordship!). I want to become a missionary, but I have not given up myself to the needs of others. (i.e. loving my neighbors as myself.) I still have not abandoned many selfish desires...(i.e. my singleness now, and my desire to be married.) And definitely have not cut ties with current ministries that I'm doing here at CBC. (not that they are bad, but if I want to be on the field, then I'll have to put an end to my services here, and be available to Him overseas.) I know that everything happens for a reason, and that even that I'm here now (in Seattle) is His timing; He's in control. But I know that if I truly desire to be available to do whatever He asks me to do, then there are sacrifices I'll need to make...this is taking up my cross, and it's not a one day thing. It's doing it one day at a time, walking diligently after His footsteps, day after day. ...grace...